To be scared, or to be informed?

In a situation like this, you make a choice on how to handle things. You throw yourself the biggest pity party known to man, or suck it up, focus only on the moment in front of you and learn all that you can about everything! Immerse yourself in it all. Just what is an ostomy and what are blood gasses? Who's an RT and just what is a direct bili? Somethings took a while for me to get a grip on, so I found it easiest to obsess over what I did understand. I knew that kid's weight, temperature and amount of bowel movements at any given moment. Even if I wasn't there for each shift, I knew what nurse was caring for Joshua at each shift change. Shift change, that's an important thing to understand and respect. I knew when each of his doctors usually rounded, always try to plan hospital visits around those times! The unknown can be mortifying, I wasn't going to let it get the best of me!