He was a man small in stature with the kindest eyes. Dressed in green scrubs still wearing his paper hat he walked up to my bedside. After introducing himself, the first words I remember hearing were, "This is bad."
Wow, three words no one ever wants to hear from a doctor's mouth. My head is still spinning from the previous 2-3 hours. He told us things would be a roller-coaster ride from here on out. We would take two steps forward, only to take one back, sometimes three. The surgeon instructed us we were to take baby steps for a long time. Progress would be slow, but don't get discouraged. And lastly, looking at me he says, "You are going to become a nurse."
Without even thinking, I nodded my head and said, "Yes, sir." I was going to do whatever it takes.
Well, the good doctor couldn't have been more correct. This has been the longest roller-coaster ride of my life. Just when things go well, something creeps up from behind and pulls the rug out from under us. But, time has taught me much about Joshua. I don't pretend to be confident, but no backward regression is always an opportune time to try to push him. Each good stretch gives us a chance to raise his rate and encourage more oral intake. We've had lots of set backs, and I know there will be more.
But today. Today something's working. Maybe it's the new formula. Maybe it's the oregano oil. Maybe it's just Joshua's growth. God only knows. Slowly, but surely we're moving forward. Today I raised the rate of his formula to 49 ml/hr over 16 hours. For Joshua this is amazing! Even more amazing, last week, Joshua ate beef stew! He also ate an entire tube of Gogurt (yogurt for kids) and said "Ummmm!" while he ate! Tears welled up in my eyes!
What a long way we've come since that stormy Friday night. Each step forward is a miracle and a blessing. Thank you God for my Sweet Joshua, he's taught me so much patience!